I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, and I decided to write it now since all these ideas are rattling around in my head. It’s almost been my second week of being back in school, and I just want to express these emotions that I am feeling. But, first let me go through my past educational turmoils.
For the past three semesters, I was taking science major classes. Fall semester of freshman year I took chemistry, psychology, neuroscience, and a writing class. Spring semester of freshman year I took chemistry 1, cell biology, world literature, and another writing class (required). Last semester, in the fall, I took a neuroscience class, a history class, an organic chemistry class, and a calculus class. Those three semesters made me HATE college. I struggled in most of my classes, mostly the sciences. The only classes I did good in (and I genuinely liked) were the humanities, specifically the writing classes. Each semester made me hate my chosen major of neuroscience, and made me hate my career path in general; I wanted to become a surgeon.
I got so discouraged and so depressed with the work, I almost took this semester off. Literally, I had it all set up. But, then I decided to take random classes that I would be interested in. So, I randomly enrolled in these classes: Introduction to Education, Creative Writing, Critics of the Enlightenment, and a research history class. I must say, I am so glad that I did that. Although I love certain aspects of neuroscience, I love these classes even more.
I’ve been feeling so alive the past two weeks. I feel confident, intelligent, and happy. To top it all off, I thought these classes were completely random, but they all intertwine with each other. For example, in my history class my professor is teaching us to use our imagination in history and to analyze it in a different context; that’s exactly what I do when I read classical literature. I love close reading, and I like to think of the most abstract ideas of a story. Coincidentally, we are going to close read in my creative writing class. Also, funny enough, I was chatting with my best friend back at home, who is a huge literary lover, and we were discussing poetry. I told her, before I went to my first Creative Writing class, I wanted to read more poetry and learn about a certain poet. I learned in the first day of class that we would focus a lot on poetry, and for a project we needed to pick a certain poet and reflect on them. I love the Universe and its weird ways. Also, in my Education class we are emphasizing on writing, specifically journal writing, and we will be focusing a lot on philosophy (from the Enlightenment…which, weirdly enough, is the class that I am taking) AND neuroscience ideas. How funny that all the things that I love and I am interested in intertwines with each other!
I feel so encouraged to go to class, and to participate in class. In my old classes, I kept to myself because I was very unsure of the answers asked. But, in these classes I participate a lot and I feel confidence ooze off me. Sometimes I walk out of a class smiling and I feel myself radiating positivity.
I have been meditating every morning, and I have been focusing on these aspects. I’ve been asking the Universe to give me positivity, happiness, courage, love, confidence, and to love and do well in my classes. I have also asked to make new friends in college, and I’m really seeing take place in my life.
I love seeing my life transform into my very eyes, and I believe it’s because I’m making the best decisions. For a while, I was around a person who told me my life did not belong in a college setting, and they even downplayed my intelligence. It really made me feel self-conscious and upset because my intelligence was different from what they believe “intelligence” is. I see my strengths in more of the humanities of education. I thrive on feelings, on thoughts, on creative aspects that are taught. One of my weaknesses is logical thoughts and reason. But, that’s okay. They also made me second guess my thoughts, and I wouldn’t say much of what I was thinking because I know that they would just put everything down. Quite recently I learned that my thoughts are as important as anybody else’s thoughts, and I should speak my mind no matter what.
Bottom line is this: You are what YOU set out to be. Don’t let anybody, or anything, make you believe that you are something that you are not. The only person who TRULY knows yourself is…yourself! I want you to pursue your passions wholeheartedly, and don’t worry about anything. The Universe will always provide for you; you just need faith.