The First Two Weeks of Spring Semester Sophomore Year

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, and I decided to write it now since all these ideas are rattling around in my head. It’s almost been my second week of being back in school, and I just want to express these emotions that I am feeling. But, first let me go through my past educational turmoils.

For the past three semesters, I was taking science major classes. Fall semester of freshman year I took chemistry, psychology, neuroscience, and a writing class. Spring semester of freshman year I took chemistry 1, cell biology, world literature, and another writing class (required).  Last semester, in the fall, I took a neuroscience class, a history class, an organic chemistry class, and a calculus class. Those three semesters made me HATE college. I struggled in most of my classes, mostly the sciences. The only classes I did good in (and I genuinely liked) were the humanities, specifically the writing classes. Each semester made me hate my chosen major of neuroscience, and made me hate my career path in general; I wanted to become a surgeon.

I got so discouraged and so depressed with the work, I almost took this semester off. Literally, I had it all set up. But, then I decided to take random classes that I would be interested in. So, I randomly enrolled in these classes: Introduction to Education, Creative Writing, Critics of the Enlightenment, and a research history class. I must say, I am so glad that I did that. Although I love certain aspects of neuroscience, I love these classes even more.

I’ve been feeling so alive the past two weeks. I feel confident, intelligent, and happy. To top it all off, I thought these classes were completely random, but they all intertwine with each other. For example, in my history class my professor is teaching us to use our imagination in history and to analyze it in a different context; that’s exactly what I do when I read classical literature. I love close reading, and I like to think of the most abstract ideas of a story. Coincidentally, we are going to close read in my creative writing class. Also, funny enough, I was chatting with my best friend back at home, who is a huge literary lover, and we were discussing poetry. I told her, before I went to my first Creative Writing class, I wanted to read more poetry and learn about a certain poet. I learned in the first day of class that we would focus a lot on poetry, and for a project we needed to pick a certain poet and reflect on them. I love the Universe and its weird ways. Also, in my Education class we are emphasizing on writing, specifically journal writing, and we will be focusing a lot on philosophy (from the Enlightenment…which, weirdly enough, is the class that I am taking) AND neuroscience ideas. How funny that all the things that I love and I am interested in intertwines with each other!

I feel so encouraged to go to class, and to participate in class. In my old classes, I kept to myself because I was very unsure of the answers asked. But, in these classes I participate a lot and I feel confidence ooze off me. Sometimes I walk out of a class smiling and I feel myself radiating positivity.

I have been meditating every morning, and I have been focusing on these aspects. I’ve been asking the Universe to give me positivity, happiness, courage, love, confidence, and to love and do well in my classes. I have also asked to make new friends in college, and I’m really seeing take place in my life.

I love seeing my life transform into my very eyes, and I believe it’s because I’m making the best decisions. For a while, I was around a person who told me my life did not belong in a college setting, and they even downplayed my intelligence. It really made me feel self-conscious and upset because my intelligence was different from what they believe “intelligence” is. I see my strengths in more of the humanities of education. I thrive on feelings, on thoughts, on creative aspects that are taught. One of my weaknesses is logical thoughts and reason. But, that’s okay. They also made me second guess my thoughts, and I wouldn’t say much of what I was thinking because I know that they would just put everything down. Quite recently I learned that my thoughts are as important as anybody else’s thoughts, and I should speak my mind no matter what.

Bottom line is this: You are what YOU set out to be. Don’t let anybody, or anything, make you believe that you are something that you are not. The only person who TRULY knows yourself is…yourself! I want you to pursue your passions wholeheartedly, and don’t worry about anything. The Universe will always provide for you; you just need faith.


Creative Writing Class

Sorry there hasn’t been posts. I have been really busy, and, quite honestly, I haven’t been spending much time on the computer. Since I just moved back into college and this past week has been my first week of classes, I’ve been more focused on school, friends, and figuring out a mess that I am currently in. Also, I have been working on the post of The Secret, which I am trying to make as perfect as possible.

That being said, I’m just going to make a quick post on what will be featured in the next couple months on my blog. Since I have a creative writing class, I will be publishing my works on here. I have to write a poem/a short story every week, and I will most definitely post my pieces of work on here. I will also discuss my thoughts, ideas, and development as a writer; I don’t know if you know this but this blog is meant to work on my writing, and to also help inspire and educate individuals about interesting thoughts and ideas in my head.

I’ve been focusing a lot on quotes with writing, and seeing how my connection with writing fits into the context of the quote. There is one specific quote that I found yesterday that resonates with me. It is: “You own everything that happened to you. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better”. Writers tend to write about their personal life; how they feel about things, people, events, ideas, etc. Their perception of that object can never be wrong. Writers also tend to write for themselves. That being said, there is a good chance that I will write about people who are close to me, you might get offended, or you might be flattered. But the way I write about you and how I perceive you is who I really see you as, and there is no wrong or right. I could potentially write about you, dear reader, and I’m sorry if I paint you in a negative light. It does not mean you are a negative person, it’s because you’ve treated me in a way that I see to be negative.

I have a book idea in mind that is going to completely distort a person, but I’m doing it to reach out to those who were in my situation; trapped. I write about my experiences and my thoughts in hopes to resonate with a reader who needs that help, and I want to provide an inspirational story to help them get through it. I am a writer, I write about what I know is true.

And now, time for a poem!

Continue reading

The Bishop: Yet Another Les Miserables Post (from the book)

Good afternoon, my friend reader! I’m enroute to Boston via the train; 6 hours of pure bliss. I recently wrote a poem about how I love travelling by trains. I absolutely love the sceneries that I pass by. When I was going to Philly on the train from my house the other week, I stared out the window listening to music the entire time (and reading my book when we got into less scenic views). I live in the suburbs where there are a lot of trees, so for a couple of stops we rode through the forest.  I couldn’t help but admire the nature outside. You see, the night before we had a little bit of snow fall. And I couldn’t help but to look out and start describing the snow in my head. I marveled at how the snow was lightly kissing the ground, and how it made the world look so innocent and young. Even though I dislike winter because the lack of sunlight, but I do enjoy the sight of snow.  There’s something magical about it.  Unlike raindrops, every snowflake is different; just like a person.

Anyways, I’m getting completely off topic. I spent the last hour (in the train station and on the train) reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I have the edition from Barnes & Nobles, which gives you an introduction, the biography of the author, major themes, the basic plot line, and insight into the major characters.  The more I read, the more I keep wondering who my favorite character is. From the movie, Jean Valjean is my favorite character. But, unlike the movie, the book goes into depth on the bishop who saves Jean Valjean from damnation (both spiritual and physical). The beginning of the book is a background on the bishop, and he is completely inspirational.

I feel as if Victor Hugo isn’t writing about the Church in general, but something that goes much deeper than that. As a former Catholic, one of my problems with the Church is that I find them hypocritical and they do not get down to the “nitty gritty”.  What I mean by “nitty gritty” is that they do not, in my humble opinion, satisfy spiritual inspiration,connection, and desire. I really didn’t like the idea that if you didn’t do certain things, you would go to hell.  I didn’t like that you had to follow a weekly routine that told people that “this is the true way on how to pray to God”. When I was little, I only believed in what the Church said. I thought the only proper place to pray was in church, and if I could not pray in church, the next best thing was to a cross, or an idol.  I didn’t like the strict rules, traditions, and concepts. I felt as if my ability to connect with God was hindered. I basically saw God as a man, much like my father. I had to obey all these rules for him to like me; rules that were completely, in my mind, unnecessary and suppressive. Rules that would control my natural urges that were perfectly acceptable. Rules that hindered my creativity and who I could really be.

Victor Hugo paints the bishop in a different way than what I thought he would. Before I start writing about how much I am awed by this man, I should mention that Hugo parallels the bishop to Jesus Christ.  That being said, he creates the bishop in a way where I can truly appreciate him (in the past month, or so, I have been finding myself appreciating Christ more. Not so much in the way that the Church paints him to be, but more in the spiritual sense. I look at him as if he is a man, just doing extraordinary work for the sake of society and humanity…I know, I have really odd, radical ideas.) Hugo mentions all the “miracles” that the bishop does. But they’re not God-like miracles, they are miracles that any other human being can achieve.  He restores faith in the hopeless, he provides love and compassion for those around him, and he even climbs mountain and treks across his village in order to get his job done (let’s remember that he is an elderly man, too).  He even gives his money away to the poor and lives in poverty, even though he receives a considerable sum from the Church.  But what really makes me love him is what he does for Jean Valjean.

Jean Valjean has been let go from prison, which he spent 19 years for stealing some bread for his family.  He spent 5 years for stealing, and another 14 years for escaping 4 times.  The officials designated him as a dangerous man, and provided him with a yellow passport that said so. In order to stay in villages, you must show people the passport.  Of course, nobody in the village would take him even though he had money to pay for the inn.  He begged to sleep in a prison, but even then they turned him away. Through synchronicity/destiny, he was lead to the cathedral where the humble bishop lived. Of course they let him in, and even though Jean Valjean clearly stated that he was a convict, the Bishop welcomed him to stay. Jean Valjean was extremely caught of guard, and restated who he was and what he was. The bishop did not care. All he saw was a man who needed help. Jean was hungry, tired, ragged, and, I am sure the bishop saw this, faithless.

Although I have not got to this point in the book, I know that Jean steals the silver candlesticks and runs away in the middle of the night.  He was caught and brought back to the bishop.  Instead of the bishop ratting him out, like any other person would do at that time, he simply claims that he gave those candlesticks to him.  Not only that, but he says he forgot some other valuable objects.  After the officials leave, the bishop tells him that he saved him so that he would not spend eternity in damnation, and that he hopes his kindness makes him a better man.

Valjean was taken aback from what the bishop has done.  His entire life he was treated as a rat; nobody has ever given him compassion, love, and trust as this bishop had. And so, Valjean changed. What makes the bishop even more remarkable in my eyes is that he saw the good hidden in Valjean, and had faith that Valjean was not a true criminal.  He was only a criminal because society made him one.  He somehow knew that if he showed kindness and love to Valjean, he would turn around. And he did. Throughout the story Valjean keeps the candlesticks as a reminder of the bishop’s kindness; he didn’t sell them for money.

If all priests and Church officials were like the bishop, I would enjoy the world so much more..even the Catholic religion. The pure sympathy and hope the bishop has inspires me. Hugo get’s down to the “nitty gritty”, to the spiritual sense of faith and hope.  The bishop did not judge this man, the bishop did not even know this man, yet he trusted him.  Even when he stole, he gave him more. This character that Hugo created is slowly becoming my fictional role model. There’s something awe-inspiring about him.  He’s a normal man doing extraordinary things, just as Christ did, just as I aim to do. My biggest goal in life is to save somebody somehow, somewhere. I am here to serve, I am here to love, and I am here to inspire. The world is full of negative, corrupted people, but it’s also filled with positive, inspirational ones as well. And they are the ones that make me have faith in humanity. They are the ones that will be changing the world.

If there’s one thing that I want to get out of this post, it is this: even though you consider yourself normal/average/insignificant, you still can do the most incredible things. It’s your life, and you can do whatever you want with it. The Universe will answer anything you ask of it, you just need to believe and have hope. And remember,from a song I sung in 5th grade from Songfest says,”Ordinary people can do extraordinary things”.


Light and love

Sometimes the Universe is Too Perfect

I just cannot even describe how I feel right now. I feel absolutely incredible! For the first time in a couple of months I feel happy and bubbly and just…absolutely wonderful. I am in such high spirits, and I really want to write about it because there is a reason why this is so.

I know I keep talking about The Secret, and I keep promising I will write a lengthy, informational post; well, this isn’t it. I promise it’ll come this week; something to keep my readers looking forward to, eh? 😉 Well, in this post, I want to talk about The Secret and how truly extraordinary it is.

I had to go into work today. The last time I was in work, it was a mess. I kept messing up orders, my bosses got angry with me, and I was just mentally exhausted and done. When I woke up this morning, I kept hoping that today would not be like last time. I had 15 minutes to spare after I got ready, so I decided I should meditate. I meditated for about 7 minutes, just focusing on attracting the positive and repelling the negative. I kept telling myself that I would have great day at work, I would have great customers, I would be positive, and the time would fly by.

I literally had the best customers ever. Most of them complimented me on my hard work, my lovely personality, and how amiable I was. One table, just two guys, stopped to have a conversation with me after I was done serving them. The one guy asked me what my major was, and I told him I was an education and history major. He smiled and told me,”I knew it! We were debating about what you were studying, and I told him education! You seem like a wonderful person to be with children; I’m sure they love you!” That comment is what started this awesome day. You see, I just recently switched majors (from neuroscience to education), and I keep wondering if I was meant to do it. Another man, one of my last tables, was apparently a CEO of a charter school in my area, and said he would hire me, after I told him I was an education major; he gave me his card. I love how the universe just handed me these people; it further made me believe that this was the right path for me.

The last table that I will tell you about is my favorite one to tell. It was a group of 6 and I served them as best as I could. When I gave them their check, the one lady said,” You were absolutely what we needed today. My mother recently passed away and we were all feeling down in the dumps. We were just talking about your bubbly and sunny personality, and how great it must be to have you around.” It really touched me. I made a difference in somebody’s day. I made somebody feel better. And, most importantly, they related me to the sun. My blog is named Forever Sunshine because (now I’m going to tell you a secret!) that’s my favorite name to be called. I know if somebody calls me Sunshine, they truly care about me and it makes me feel like I am a sun in their life. Some of the most important people in my life call(ed) me sunshine. When the table left, they stopped me, and asked if I could go home with them and just be positive.

I didn’t know how much meditation worked until now. I believe it honestly made a great deal of difference today, and also made me attract all these wonderful people. Even the cook, who is usually quiet towards me, even said I was really happy; actually…he just asked me what I was on because he wants some of it, too. It just feels incredible to receive these awesome feelings, and to know that I am in charge of how I feel every single day in my life. I believe that I will meditate every day before I start the day, just so I can make my day a whole lot easier. I highly suggest that you do, too!

Inspiration by Literature: Les Mis (Part 3/3)

This really should be called inspiration by movies. I am getting impatient; I really want to get my book in the mail. I’m so excited to read the book, even though it’s over a thousand pages long. I don’t know…I can’t remember the last time I got really excited about a book. And, the funny thing is, it’s not a new book either, so it’s not like I’m waiting for it to be released. The movie has seriously made a dent in my life, but in a good way. I’m taking all the themes I learned from a movie and I’ve contemplated them. Although, the main reason why I want to read the book is so that I can analyze the other themes in there. I’m so used to it because that’s what we did for AP English and Literature in 12th grade, and I had to do it last year in my Irish Literature writing class. My Irish Lit class was much more creative because our professor would only give us a good grade if we had a really creative essay. For example, my essay on James Joyce’s The Dubliners, I picked the short story of “The Sisters” and I related it to the legend of the Holy Grail. I wrote my essay on Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest on the food and how it represented repressed sexuality. So, I’m very excited on what I can pull out of this book. I think I should start reading up on Victor Hugo’s life and the time that he wrote it because, believe it or not, it has a lot of emphasis on the book. As a writer myself, I would most definitely say that personal life is a major part of writing a book. I feel that it is common that a character in the book is a mirror of the author; maybe of who they are, and/or who they want to be. It’s like they say, the author does not write for an audience, but for himself.

Anyways, enough with mindless gibber-jabber. I am going to finish this post of trilogies (although there might be more coming when I’m reading the book…BEWARE!) by talking about the themes of light vs. darkness and hope.

I don’t know when I first realized the theme of light vs. darkness, but when I did I kept seeing it. And the more I think about it, the better the director sees in my eyes. Javert paints Valjean as the dark creature; he even sings about it in his song “Stars”; the beginning quote is “There, out in the darkness, a fugitive running, fallen from God”. And, I don’t know how I noticed this, too, but  I thought it was so interesting that Javert only prays outside, when it’s nighttime out, and never in a church. It’s as if the director is saying that he is the one who is really “dark”. If you noticed, Valjean keeps the candles that he stole throughout the entire movie; and they’re lit,too, as if they are symbolizing the flickering flame in him.

When Cosette enter’s Valjeans life, everything seems to brighten up, as if she is the light of the world; she does the same to Marius. One can conclude that love is the light in life, and it makes the world seem a lot brighter. In my eyes, she represents hope because she is that flame, that little light. And was is hope, but a flame in the darkness? Hope is what drives one out of the darkness. She drove Valjean out of the darkness, and he even risked his life to save the man that she came to love. He became a hero in her eyes, and Marius’s eyes. Valjean, who was once a thief, redeemed himself in the eyes of God, and after that he was taken away; it was if his purpose on life was done.

At this point, I don’t know what to make of Javert’s character, and of his ending. It seems to me that his darkness swallowed him and lead him to his ultimate death. Although, it could be that the reason for that is he had no love in his life, and the love that Valjean showed him, and proved to him, drove him to the ultimate darkness. Javert and Valjean are almost the same person. In their song “The Confrontation” you learn that Javert was born in a jail and he said that he “grew up with scum like [Valjean]”. He got out of that mess, but he turned again his past instead of trying to fix it; Valjean made a different path, which made him walk to the path of light. He tried to help those in need, like he once was, like his sister once was. He cared about those less fortunate of him, and he even took his sister’s daughter under his care.

The last thing I want to talk about is the group of revolutioners; Enjolras’s group of revolters. They had so much hope, and even that group sung a song that contrasted light and dark. The song Red and Black has lyrics of: “Red-the blood of angry men, black- the dark of ages past. Red-a world about to dawn, Black-the night that ends at last.” Not only does it have those two to contrast, but it inserts words like “bone” and “ghost” to represent light; who, no surprise here, are in context with the character of Cosette. Red, which is the color that Enjolras chooses to wear, represents the light, the dawn, the hope. Black, which is the color of their rivals-the French corrupted government- represents the dark, the night, the end. Even though they all die,except for Marius who was saved, they fought with hope, and they lit “the flame”…which, ironically is red!

We all need more “red” in our life. Passion, love, flame, dawn, light. Hope. Red will overpower the black, because that’s what fires do. What’s that famous quote from Harry Potter?…oh yes, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light”. It just requires determination, hope, love, motivation, positive thoughts, and believing in yourself. But everyone can do it, if you put your mind to it.