My New Year’s Resolution (s)

Sorry if I’ve been kind of slacking on writing. I promise within the next couple of days I’ll finish my Les Mis series post, and insert a post that I’ve been working on; it’s the reason why I have been lacking in my writing here. I’ve been talking about The Secret with a bunch of people, and a close friend isn’t familiar with it. I told her that I would post on my blog a summary of it instead of having her read the book, or watch the documentary. I felt like it would be good for her, good for me because then I can understand the concepts better, and good for those who read. Instead of writing, I’ve been rereading The Secret and I have been highlighting points that I want to include in the post. So, until then, here’s my resolutions for the next year!:

  • Have a jar that collects all my favorite moments, quotes, and ideas of 2013
  • Write every day (whether it be on my novel, on here, in my diary, or for school)
  • Have at least 5 posts a week
  • Do meditation once a day (and eventually twice a day) for 10-15 minutes each session
  • Cook more and learn new recipes
  • Be more positive and confident
  • Read more and watch more documentaries
  • Eat more healthy
  • Exercise more (I used to go to the gym all the time, and now I’m slacking off. This needs to stop)
  • Limit my complaining and accepting life as it is
  • Finish my first novel (3 years has been long enough)
  • Limit tumblr and facebook to an hour a day (both websites together)
  • Limit watching shows and movies on, probably only using the website on weekends.
  • Make new friends (such a great resolution!)
  • Having a normal sleep schedule and waking up semi-early

Most of my resolutions are just tweaks in my every day life. I’ve gotten into some bad habits, like snacking and going to bed at 5 and sleeping until noon. I’m hoping that I have the motivation to keep these up and fix them. If I do, it can lead into a more positive lifestyle which could help me immensely.


Inspiration by Literature: Les Mis (Part 2/3)

This is my second post that is inspired by Les Mis, the movie. I actually just ordered the book so that I can read it. I really don’t need another book because I have tons of other books (and when I mean tons, I really mean tons) that I should read. But, that’s okay! I’ll eventually get through all the books I own. Anyways, the themes that I am going to talk about in this post will revolved around stuggles, pain, strength, and fear. The first three will all probably go hand-in-hand, but as for fear, I would like to tie the lack of fear in Les Mis into a really interesting article that I read in my “Mind, Body, Spirit” magazine.

So, as you may, or may not know, Les Miserables is French for “The Miserables” (and it’s not an ironic title).  These characters should be miserable; abandoning your child into a home that could care less, giving into prostitution because you cannot pay for any other way, the boy who you love loves somebody else, forever running away from the government and living in seclusion to do so, and watching your friends die in a battle. This book/musical is teeming with misery, pain, and suffering. You have images of poor people, dirty and hungry, in streets; they’re dying, or they are dead. You have glimpses and their miserable lives are shown to you and, as the writer/director hopes, empathize with their situation.

Amidst all their suffering and pain, they show a sense of hope and strength. They don’t just sit there and wallow in their pity, they fight, they carry on. And with that their pain becomes relevant, because it makes them a stronger person. Actually, this just comes to me, in the beginning Jean Valjean shows a sense of physical strength; it can be correlated with his emotional and mental strength (his spiritual strength comes later). This strength has him embark on this journey to be a father to his sister’s daughter, and to inspire those around him. He also uses that same strength to save those in need. That strength saves lives.

To accomodate that theme into our lives, let’s talk about suffering and pain in more personal scales. Even though pain makes you suffer and believe that there is no happiness left, and there will never be happiness left, it’s all for a reason. The Universe and God knows your strong enough to handle it, and they want to see your soul grow with strength; because that pain will stay with you forever, and it will shape you to become a better person (if you so choose). We live for the experience, and, like yin and yang, we need a balance between both the good and bad. Everyone is equipped with some kind of hope (I will get into the theme of hope in the last post because it ties in with this theme and the theme I will talk about next), which will get one through the pain and the suffering. Tons of intelligent and spiritual leaders tell you that there is a reason for pain, and I have come to think of their words to be completely true.

I’ve suffered in my own way, more emotional than anything else, and it’s given me a hella bunch of strength, which I thank God for every day. I know that strength will be of use to me sometime in the future. I don’t know what, and I’m not supposed to know, and neither are you; that’s what makes life a gift. Every moment, whether it’s good or bad, is something to cherish, because it’ll always mean something. I’ve talked about my strange coincidences…and that’s just the beginning. I’m so glad that I’m opening up my eyes now, so that I can see how precious and lovely life is. All the good, all the bad, I am now trying to take it for granted. I soak up the rays of the good times the Universe gives me, and I try to learn and plow through the bad. I had a really rough time last month-I wrote a couple posts on it- on how depressed and unmotivated I am; and I am learning from it. These things happen, and will continuing on happening, because…that’s life!

And life not only throws pain at us, but it also throws us fear. Fear…is a very interesting concept in our lives. The only reason why I’m mentioning fear is because I read an article that made me ponder about fear. I actually got so into the article, I started to highlight points that I wanted to bring up in a post. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could tie it in with Les Mis. You see, there were no characters in Les Mis who had fear in them, and if they did they would not be able to do the things they needed to do. If the little boy had fear of getting shot, he wouldn’t have gone out in front of the French army in the first place; if Jean Valjean had fear of getting caught stealing, he would have never have stole the candles in the first place.

These characters, this fearlessness, is the key into making life yours; and when I mean yours, something that you can live free.

Fearlessness is not only possible, it is the ultimate joy. When you touch nonfear, you are free.”- Thich Nhat Hanh

They were at the point where they took fear into its hands, whatever kind of monster it may be, and shook it; they acknowledged what it was, whether it be getting caught or dying, and accepted that. Accepting that fear and truly understanding it, makes them unfear that fear…and frees them from whatever constraints were there in the first place! The lack of fear is what let them pursue their destiny. If you and I could do the same, actually…scratch that, if the entire WORLD can do the same, could you imagine what kind of place this would be?! No fear of anything can make this world be incredible, although, let’s not confuse lack of fear with power, even though it makes one feel powerful. With good intentions and positive energy, lack of fear can be used to make the world a better place. Nothing would be able to hold us back.

Easier said than done, right? I agree. Although, I do not fear what most people fear (death), I do have lots of tiny fears in my life that hold me back. Two fears that I can say right off the bat are: abandonment and people disliking me. If you’re a spiritual person like I am, your fears and phobias can be a result of a past life experience, in which I would tell you to go to someone who can help you with past life regression; but, my fears and phobias have been created in this life, and I want to fix them before I carry them onto my next.

I have a handful of people who have abandoned me, mostly close friends. The worst instance, where the root is probably the deepest, was my best friend of a couple years one day telling me he’s always hated me; he continued, for about a year, to make my life hell. It may sound nothing, but it really rips you when the person you trust most tells you something like this; it really crushes you inside. As for people not liking me, well, I was…different in high school. I wasn’t attractive, I always read books, I was smart, I hung out with kids who were outcasts like me, and I believed in very interesting things. Nobody in high school cared about spiritual ideas, or paranormal books, or things I liked. And, to make matters worse, I hung out with a kid who was slowly introducing me into the materialistic world and making me become arrogant. My last two years of high school I had a Formspring and I got a lot (and I mean A LOT) of hate mail. I hate getting pity for that because I’m not that person any more, although I am deeply affected by it. Although my confidence has grown in the past couple of months, I have been jaded by all those events…and it makes sense why my fear is revolving around those ideas.

They will pop up again; I will be abandoned by people who are close to me, and people will dislike me. But, now that I have learned what fear is and how life should be, I can look that fear into it’s dark, menacing eyes and smile right back at it. I know it’s there, I accept it’s there, but it will not run my life. Just because somebody does not like me, or just because somebody leaves me doesn’t mean that nobody will ever like me, or come into my life again. It’s just a way of life, and I need to accept it. And, when all else fails, I know I’ll never EVER lose the person who I love, cherish, and have the best time with: myself. Once in a vision, a voice once told me,” Michelle, you’re never alone”, and I’m not. And neither are you. I’ll always be here for you.

The Tiny Synchronicities of the Universe

Before I do my next post on the themes of Les Mis, I had an inspiration to write a post on synchronicity. I am sure I will do many posts on it since basically my entire life has been one giant synchronicity (and yours has too!) and I’m currently reading a book to learn more about it.

I’m sure many of you are wondering,”Synchronicity, what is it?”. Now, I could be really sassy and just tell you to wikipedia it, or it, but I shall tell you before I go in depth with my tales! It’s a term that comes from Carl Jung and he describes it as “a string of coincidences that occur in multiple events”.  The way that I describe it is in one word: signs. I learned this term only recently, about 6 months ago, but I realized synchronicity has been happening in my life many times before then. Back in high school, I would get reoccurring “signs” about things important to me; the major one being about Boston. Time in and time out I remember the word “Boston” would appear randomly on everything; I’d be walking throughout Philly and I’d see about 10 Boston sports paraphernalia, or I would flip randomly to a page in my French text book and the word Boston would occur in the text (true story!). Reading through this, you might be thinking of something similar, am I right?

Well, what does this mean? It’s the Universe speaking to you on its own terms. It’s trying to point you in the right direction, telling you where your fate is. Synchronicity is the Universe guiding you on your life path, so that you can fulfill your life’s purpose. Ever since I became more spiritually “aware”, synchronicity has been all around me. I’ll think of somebody and, moments later, they will appear; it’ll even be somebody who I haven’t seen in a while. For example, yesterday I was going to the mall and randomly thought of my friend who was visiting in a nearby town. Later, I run into that same girl in the mall; what are the chances?!

The event that inspired me to make this post was something that happened today.

Yesterday I was browsing through the bookstore’s magazines, and a magazine caught my eye. It was a magazine called “Mind, Body, Spirit”, and this wasn’t the first time that I was buying this magazine. I bought it a time before, and absolutely loved all the articles within it! Then, today, I was reading it, and I closed the magazine just staring at the image on the front, and letting my thoughts roam.I thought it was so inspiring, I wanted to post a picture of it on Facebook when I got back from work.I got to the point where I looked him up on the internet, and realized, that I’ve seen his work before! I saw it one day on Tumblr, and I thought it was awesome that his images were reintroduced into my life.

My magazine; Cover done by the artist Alex Grey and it is called "The Net of Being"

My magazine; Cover done by the artist Alex Grey and it is called “The Net of Being”

Then when I came back from work, I went on Facebook to see what was new, and I saw this post from’s facebook page:

alex grey

I did a double take! I could not believe that this was actually happening; I grew a little bit excited. Sometimes I think the Universe does this to me in order to amuse me..and, believe me, it’s working because I started to laugh a little.

Strange coincidences like this is an amazing thing, and all somebody needs to do is just become more spiritually aware of your surroundings. Big or little, these things really do make such a great difference in one’s life. It’s a way of the Universe telling you,” Hey, you’re on the right path” and “you’re becoming one with the Universe, good job!”. Whomever said life isn’t beautiful or worth it hasn’t been through the things that I go through every day. Things like this is what motivates me spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically because I know that the Universe is on my side, and always will be.

Inspiration by Literature: Les Mis (Part 1/3)

So, I just came back from seeing Les Mis with my mother, and I must say, I was blown away. Victor Hugo was a genius at the plot. The movie inspired me so much that I want to read his book. The movie was filled with symbolism and great themes (my two favorite things to see in novels), so I think it would be beneficial to read it. Also, I love being inspired by other peoples’ writings; I incorporate them to my own. For example, Oscar Wilde is my current role model as a writer.  I first read The Picture of Dorian Gray in my AP English and Literature class in 12th grade, and I was the only one who loved it. People complained that it was too descriptive, too dark, too dreary. For me, it was a reader’s orgasm. Since I love description, symbolism, and hidden themes, it was a paradise for me. I think I spent hours analyzing what Oscar Wilde meant; I did the same for his play “The Importance of Being Earnest”. His wit is something else I admire about him; only he would think to connect food with sexual desires…what a complete genius! (That’s actually what I wrote my essay on,too).

Today’s post I will be chatting about theme(s) (I might go into multiple, depending on my obvious rambling thoughts) I found really intriguing in the story. Where to begin?

I think today I’m going to address love and family. I was quite amused by the “romantic love” I saw in the movie. At first I was yearning for a love like that, as I always do, but somewhere throughout the movie I stopped doing that; which was kind of new for me. I started to enjoy seeing to people happy with each other instead of wishing I was them; I enjoyed their positive energy and how complete they felt. I came into realization that, through all my previous and current relationships with men, whether it be romantic, friends, family, etc., no man could ever satisfy me, or make me completely happy. I was chatting with a friend, actually a couple, about this, and I kept saying how my want for romantic love has died down. I’m attracted to men, but I don’t really want to commit myself romantically to one, and when it starts to happen I just want to back out. For some reason, which I know I don’t need to understand, my life path shouldn’t be revolved around romance and men, but it should be about me and what I am to do for this world.

Love is a very interesting emotion, or as my friend calls it “action”. I can’t even bring myself to call it an emotion, it’s something more than that. Something quite magical. And yet, people say that love is meant to be with only one other person. Why one other person? I thought it was infinite? Your infinite love for one person and your infinite love for another person still adds up for love to infinity. It’s complex because I know where people get the want to be with one other person. In Plato’s Symposium, he mentions that God originally created us with two heads,four arms, and four legs, but we were so powerful he split them up, and having them search for them; so, as the myth goes, there is another half out there. This is what we call our “twin flame” in spirituality. But, from what I have read, you don’t end up with your twin flame until the end of your soul’s travel (I will do multiple posts on my belief about lifetimes and what souls go through sometime in the next month; it’ll be about this thing called “The Michael Teachings”) and sometimes you don’t end up with them, or you have a very complex relationship. This person is literally the opposite of you. Your strengths are their weaknesses, and their weaknesses are your strengths. You compliment each other in the best, and worst, way possible. Aside from them, you have tons of other soul mates. But why must you be separate from the other part of you? Because, now this seems a bit far-fetched, you both have goals that need to be completed, and sometimes you need to do things alone in order to be together.

But, your other soul mates are ones you can love, too. They are your friends, your family, your other loves, and they’re meant to be in your life to continue this path that you are on. You meet people for a reason, and you’re all connected whether you like it or not. And it’s extraordinary to think that these people were meant to help you, and you were meant to help them.

Which brings me to my next topic: family. I know they say that you can’t pick family, but, turns out that you can. Jean Valjean became Cosette’s father, even though he wasn’t technically her father. But that love that he has for her, that’s what makes him a true father to her. I consider many of my best friends brothers and sisters, and I would treat them just as such. Just because we are blood related, does not mean that we are not bound by our souls. It is the ruler of this universe who provides us who we need, and with that in mind, everyone who he gives me I will call my family. My father gets upset when I call a non-blood relative my Uncle, but he acts like a part of family to me. He cares for my family, he loves my family, and he is good to my family; I welcome him with open arms. Why should I not call him my Uncle? Why should I not give him that honor? He’s giving us the honor of looking out for us; it’s the least I can do.

Whether you believe in fate, or not, there is a path that you are on. You will meet people who will challenge you in the best, and worst, ways possible, and just remember that it’s okay; they’re meant to do that. Connections with the souls closest to you is what is most important; that’s how I feel. This is why I feel as if no single person can leave me satisfied, because no single person should.